Preserving a Husband
This is a “recipe” I received from a friend when I got married (1968). I know times have changed, but people have not, so I figure this is just good advice for interpersonal relations!!
“Preserving a Husband”
Some women keep their husbands constantly in hot water; others freeze them; a goodly number roast them; a few just put them in a stew; others keep them in a pickle. It cannot be supposed than any husband will be a good man aged this way, but they are really delicious when properly treated.
Don’t keep him in a kettle by force, as he will stay there himself if proper care is taken. If he should splutter and fizz, don’t be anxious, some husbands do this. add a little sugar in the form of what confectioners call “kisses”, but no vinegar or pepper on any account.
A little spice improves him, but it must be used with judgement. Do not try him with something sharp to see if he is becoming tender. Stir him gently awhile lest he lie too long in the kettle and become flat and tasteless.
If you follow these directions, you will find him very degestible, aggreeing nicely with you, and he will keep as long as you want him. …It’s worth trying, isn’t it? 
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